I love bragging on the goodness of God. It may be my #1 favorite thing to do! Even when things aren't going as planned, God is still there, and his hand can still be felt.
Since moving in February 2015 I have not been settled. I didn't find a job until November! :O When I did, it was part time and temporary as a seasonal employee. I was quite certain I would only be kept on until maybe the first week in January. Thankfully, everyone that was hired on as Christmas help was given continued employment; no longer with a temporary-seasonal status.
At the same time, my poor Goldie needed TLC that I just could not give her. I am not a car person. Beyond fueling and changing fluids I am of no use when it comes to car maintenance. I was using one of my brother's cars with the goal to save enough money to purchase my own car; then, either find full time employment, or work another job in hopes of moving out on my own.
One of the hardest moments for me was selling my Goldie. So many people had left my life, and as odd as it may seem, that 'car' was a constant in my life. She was always in the garage with the same dents and markings. The evidence of all we had been through together. Every pickle that we had gotten in that God had used Goldie to keep me safe and protected.
After that moment, life felt very empty. Very. Everything around me was someone else's. Nothing seemed to be going right; for months! There were more negatives than positives with my job as well. The drive to and from work was over an hour, and my shift was usually about 4 hours. The pluses were: I *LOVED* the company I worked for, and I had such great co-workers. I hated to think of the time when I finally would have a car and move on. I knew I couldn't stay part time and make it. There just wasn't any way.
Day after day I was asking God to show me what he wanted from me. I was trying so hard to stay faithful in the little things, and to keep praising him through this 'uncomfortable' time in my life; but it was getting harder and harder. I was starting to get negative views regarding staying at this part time job. But then, I was approved for a new position with more responsibility. Unfortunately, there was a definite lack of incentive which was discouraging. I had to keep singing:
I just keep trusting my Lord
As I walk along
I just keep trusting my Lord
And He gives a song
Tho' the storm clouds darken the sky
O'er the heav'nly trail
I just keep trusting my Lord
He will never fail
God has proven to me over, and over, and over, and over, and over again that HE is the Most faithful, constant in my life; yet I have to remind myself he will never fail me! Keeping things in the correct perspective is a mental battle. Anytime I was given extra hours at work: "Thank you Lord for the ability to work these extra hours". Anytime my hours were cut: "Thank you Lord for all the other hours I was able to keep". Anytime I messed up: "Thank you Lord I was shown mercy". Anytime I saw accidents on my way to work: "Thank you Lord for watching over me and getting me to work safely"! I love, love, love proclaiming my gratitude of God's greatness anytime I get the chance. My rule is: If I "think" it; "Say-it!" (◄ In regards to praising the Lord! haha)
For Christmas, my friend Donna gave me a journal to keep a record of my blessings. Not only have I thoroughly loved writing about God's goodness in my life, but it has been such a rejuvenating source for my spirit - revisiting moments of praise during seemingly difficult parts of my life.
Fast forward to a few weeks ago. As I was feeling completely overwhelmed and heavy-hearted a co-worker, who has become the person I look forward to seeing the most at work, asked how my car searching plans were coming along. They weren't coming along and I didn't even want to share how dismal everything was. But bit-by-bit the whole ugly truth came out. She then told me she had a car she could give me for a price that fit very nicely in my lil' budget. For the first time in a very long time I saw the black clouds that had been looming over my head begin to turn merely grey.
Shortly after this time, I was pulled into the office at work and asked if I was still interested in full-time. yes, yes, yes, yes, YES, YES, YES, YES!!! My boss said he knew I was looking around so he just wanted to know if it was even an option for me. Can I say perfect timing? I knew with a car I would "have" to start looking elsewhere, but now that wouldn't be necessary! I could stay with the company I loved and the co-workers I was becoming very fond of! Now those grey clouds were brighter and there was a little bit of silver lining.
Then last Thursday arrived. The end of August. I met my co-worker so we could have the car title notarized at the bank. After that I drove my 'new' car to work. I called my dad all excited!! I couldn't talk for long b/c I had to start my shift, but I told him about the car, even though I didn't have many facts to share b/c I didn't know them myself. So, so, so very happy.
About 2 hrs. later my boss told me my code wouldn't work for overrides, so if something were to come up I would have to call one of the managers. Not gonna lie. First thought was: "Am I in trouble? Did I do something wrong?" Not a very good feeling. A little while later I was asked to go back to the office. Going to the office is similar in "Sinking-Stomach-Feeling" to being called to the principal's office in school. (Although, I was home-schooled, my father was my principal; so I think I have a fairly good understanding of the feelings one might experience!) All I can say is, the following moments were All. God!
I was told our store had excelled and advanced to a new bracket. We're the first one in our district to have grown this way. With this growth new full time, and other positions had been created and they wanted me to fill one of those positions. :O I cannot even explain how I was able to stay in my seat. There were all sorts of fireworks and cheers and showers of confetti going on in my head. Forget black, grey, and silver-lined clouds -- now there was ONLY sunshine!!!! Thank. You. JESUS!! Full-time, increased pay, health benefits (after 90 days), 401k, and on and on. I had been praising the Lord for all the little things in my life, but my heart was still heavy with a burden I couldn't lift myself. But now, now my heart was so light and bursting at the seams with immense relief. My words of praise were coming wholly from my heart, not just my mouth.
After leaving the office and talking briefly about some logistics, I turned around to find my co-worker that blessed me with the car, looking at me with a happy face and giving me two thumbs up. I could not keep it in anymore. I started bobbing my head up and down and started jumping over to her. I said, while still jumping, I really want to give you a hug right now, but I know you have space bubble issues so I need to you some high fives!!! I do not even want to know how utterly ridiculous I looked, but I didn't care then, and I don't really think I care now either! :P I feel like I was up leaps and bounds above the ground, when in reality, I probably only was up like 4 inches! Ha!
It has been ages since I was that carefree and lightheaded from such an overwhelming feeling of hope! Even though I was walking on the ground, I seriously felt like I was floating above the world like a Smiley-Face helium-filled mylar balloon! (Yep! That specific! :P ) My friend asked if I comprehended what this meant, and I had to be honest and say it was too much to take in. This is a game-changer.
I came home and started jumping around in circles (again) while squealing! When I could finally speak I said, I feel like a real-human now. For the first time in over 3 years!!!!
Shortly after this time, I was pulled into the office at work and asked if I was still interested in full-time. yes, yes, yes, yes, YES, YES, YES, YES!!! My boss said he knew I was looking around so he just wanted to know if it was even an option for me. Can I say perfect timing? I knew with a car I would "have" to start looking elsewhere, but now that wouldn't be necessary! I could stay with the company I loved and the co-workers I was becoming very fond of! Now those grey clouds were brighter and there was a little bit of silver lining.
Then last Thursday arrived. The end of August. I met my co-worker so we could have the car title notarized at the bank. After that I drove my 'new' car to work. I called my dad all excited!! I couldn't talk for long b/c I had to start my shift, but I told him about the car, even though I didn't have many facts to share b/c I didn't know them myself. So, so, so very happy.
About 2 hrs. later my boss told me my code wouldn't work for overrides, so if something were to come up I would have to call one of the managers. Not gonna lie. First thought was: "Am I in trouble? Did I do something wrong?" Not a very good feeling. A little while later I was asked to go back to the office. Going to the office is similar in "Sinking-Stomach-Feeling" to being called to the principal's office in school. (Although, I was home-schooled, my father was my principal; so I think I have a fairly good understanding of the feelings one might experience!) All I can say is, the following moments were All. God!
I was told our store had excelled and advanced to a new bracket. We're the first one in our district to have grown this way. With this growth new full time, and other positions had been created and they wanted me to fill one of those positions. :O I cannot even explain how I was able to stay in my seat. There were all sorts of fireworks and cheers and showers of confetti going on in my head. Forget black, grey, and silver-lined clouds -- now there was ONLY sunshine!!!! Thank. You. JESUS!! Full-time, increased pay, health benefits (after 90 days), 401k, and on and on. I had been praising the Lord for all the little things in my life, but my heart was still heavy with a burden I couldn't lift myself. But now, now my heart was so light and bursting at the seams with immense relief. My words of praise were coming wholly from my heart, not just my mouth.
After leaving the office and talking briefly about some logistics, I turned around to find my co-worker that blessed me with the car, looking at me with a happy face and giving me two thumbs up. I could not keep it in anymore. I started bobbing my head up and down and started jumping over to her. I said, while still jumping, I really want to give you a hug right now, but I know you have space bubble issues so I need to you some high fives!!! I do not even want to know how utterly ridiculous I looked, but I didn't care then, and I don't really think I care now either! :P I feel like I was up leaps and bounds above the ground, when in reality, I probably only was up like 4 inches! Ha!
It has been ages since I was that carefree and lightheaded from such an overwhelming feeling of hope! Even though I was walking on the ground, I seriously felt like I was floating above the world like a Smiley-Face helium-filled mylar balloon! (Yep! That specific! :P ) My friend asked if I comprehended what this meant, and I had to be honest and say it was too much to take in. This is a game-changer.
I came home and started jumping around in circles (again) while squealing! When I could finally speak I said, I feel like a real-human now. For the first time in over 3 years!!!!
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