At the Pump

Wed. night, after church, I had to get fuel. So I pull up to the gas pump, turn off the car, get out, walk over to the pump, and .... ??? What's that?? There was something swaying above to keypad monitor. So I got closer to see exactly what it was (When am I going to learn my lesson??), and what was it exactly??? I'm still not 100% sure, but I'll do my best to describe exactly what I saw.

There was a slimy, booger/goober substance attached at the top of the screen hanging down about 4 inches, swinging in the breeze!!!

OH MY WORD!!! I simultaneously started screaming, twitching/jumping, and gagging right out in the middle of the gas station. The attendant probably thought I was mentally challenged or something. This isn't the most proper way to act - especially in Mayberry USA, BUT this goes right along side with puking in the street of downtown when my whole mouse episode took place - but I didn't blog about that - too much pride I suppose -- or just plain forgetfulness when I start telling a story.

After I composed myself, a little, I grabbed 12 paper towels from the dispenser by the window cleaning station, and with much trembling arms, and convulsing throat I scooped the slime off the gas pump and threw it in the trash. I didn't feel the slime at all - I made sure of that by the excessive towel usage. I didn't even want to use the touch screen anymore - and I didn't want to move my car either - again pride. For the first time in a very long time I thought, Huhhhh, I wonder how many germs are actually on a gas pump unit -- and why did we ever go to a touch pad system??? Why don't we just start having nurses on hand at gas stations to give us tetna shots while we're at it!!

I pulled my sleeve over my hand to protect my index finger as I selected my payment option, but I was thoroughly grossed out! When I went in to pay, I was going to tell the attendant so she could bleach it, but there was a rather large not so hygienically savvy looking guy in there and I opted to keep quiet just in case this piece of nature came from him!

As soon as this happened I thought - I have got to call Gerilynn!! Gerilynn is my friend from church who is a germ-a-phobe ... or so we say she is. She ALWAYS has sanitizer on hand -- and the good stuff too from Bath & Body Works!! :) The other day she was talking about trying to sanitize a public bathroom before using it, and she said it would be so much easier if sanitizer came in spray form. Huh!! Wouldn't you know it, I saw a travel size, spray sanitizer pen -- WITH A CLIP!! So I got it for her. She also wears these purple latex gloves for the icky jobs. Man, what I wouldn't have given to have her as a passenger in my car that night!!

I called her as soon as I got home, to tell her my horror story (Well, after washing my hands a couple of times in hot soapy water)!! We gagged and laughed together. The next day before Pastor started devos G. hands me a business sized envelope. I thought it was another scrapbooking invitation, b/c that's how she always does it. This envelope was lumpy though, and she said I would have to open it to see if it was a scrapbooking invite. So I did, and out fell a purple pair of latex gloves and the note below. I love Gerilynn!! :) And for not being at the gas pump with me that night -- her drawing is quite accurate!

I do have to add this. When I told Gerilynn this story on the phone, I said, it may have been from a horse. Completely serious she asks, "Why would a horse be at a gas pump??" Like duh Jess, you don't need to fill up a horse with gas - you just give them oats and they're good to go. I started laughing and said, no no - like when they're in a trailor being transported somewhere. I can so see one of them snorting and slime coming out.

I am just praising the Lord it was NOT on the PUMP HANDLE!!! You wouldn't be reading this right now if it had been, b/c I would have died right there. Here lies Jessica - who knew BP would have been her last stop in life! What a way to go!