Starry Night

Last night was pretty rough. I was driving home from church upset, crying, and stuck behind someone going 40 mph when the speed limit is 55. I know I was just being over emotional, but I was not sad to see that little blue truck eat my snow white trail. (Just the blowy snow, nothing slippery and dangerous!) I allowed myself only until the gas station to cry and then I had to suck it up and start acting my age. That of course is NEVER a fun thing to do!! Who wants to act mature!??! ;) ha ha

I had a note on my windshield from the "mysterious" pig teaser after church. It said, "Sow's it going?" At home, when I was getting everything out of my car, I grabbed the sign and read it again, even though I already knew what was written, and said, "Yeah, not so great!!!" Even though there was noone in the garage with me, I just felt like expressing it vocally. I immediately felt guilty though. Things could be so much worse; I mean, I'm breathing, I have warm shelter, I have friends, (and family even though they're far away now), and so much more. I felt like I really didn't have a leg to stand on as far as complaining goes.

Finally I was ready to head to the house. I stepped out of the garage and almost lost my breath. I love how the stars greet me at night (listen to me, I sound as if that's the only reason they shine!), and the last few nights they haven't been so bright. Last night though, their bright sparkles stopped me dead in my tracks. They took my breath away. It was if they were dropping out of the sky they were so bright. The sparkles seemed as if I could reach up ( ... ummm, while on a very tall ladder) and touch them. As I turned to shut the garage door I said, "I see you Jesus, and I love you too." No more tears, they were all gone (they would have frozen anyways last night!), no more heavy heart, no more feeling sorry for myself. God showed me something I love to see every night, but He made it stick out that much more for me.

In Sept. I heard a lady speak on the many ways the Lord tells us He loves us. Just in little things. I know I'm completely mimicking her, b/c I never use to say, "I see you Jesus, and I love you too." If I took the time to acknowledge that the Lord was actually giving me a little blessing, I would thank him, but I never told Him I loved Him. I love doing this now. I love waiting to see the next time God will show Himself to me. How He'll do it, will I be alert to it, or will I let the moment pass without realizing He was trying to say, "I love you Jessica" b/c I was too "busy" to think of Him.

Last night was very special and I wanted to share it. I always post when Savannah or Josiah melt my heart with love, so I thought, why not share when the Lord does the same. I'm glad God is more constant than any emotion that comes and goes. I'm also glad He puts up with me through whatever emotional stage I may be going through, and He still shows me He loves me no matter what! :)