You Shouldn't Feel any Sharp Pain

I dread going to the dentist.  I am a very sensory based person and with all the scraping and tapping and suctioning it's enough to drive me completely insane.  It's like being forced to lie compliantly still while fingernails continually scratch a chalkboard.  *Ugh*  (If you're not shivering right now - you're obviously Not human!)  :)   haha

Mid to late August I started experiencing odd tooth pain.  I couldn't pin point which tooth, I just knew it HURT ... BADLY!!  And, it was only sporadic.  Twenty mintues after eating something I would get a weird - 'hmm, something doesn't feel right' pain.  After I'd stand up from a forward position - again - 20 minutes later, Whamo!  It was getting frustrating b/c I couldn't pin-point what was causing the pain.  I've had cavities before - things hurt Instantaneously!  What I was experiencing was not the same thing.  I could jump - no pain; Suck in air - no pain; Press around the area - no pain; and lastly - no swelling.  ??   I was stumped.   Started using Sensodyne and 'felt like' I was seeing/feeling an improvement, but now I'm not so sure I wasn't just 'willing it to work'!

Come the beginning of Sept., I started questioning if this new toothpaste was in fact helping at all.  And then, then came ... dun dun dun ... wait for it - The Weekend!   Saturday went shopping and as a treat got some Gelato.  Mmmmmm  If I would have known the pain I was about to endure I would have never taken a bite.   I was fine eating, and talking afterwards, but then we got in the car to head home.  Oh. My. Word.   I wanted to die.  I couldn't open my eyes.  I just rocked back and forth holding my face.  Applying pressure didn't help.   Nothing alleviated the mind-numbing pain!  As soon as I got home I buried my head under my pillows.  It probably took almost an hour for the pain to subside.  All I had for dinner (yes, I ate my Gelato prior to eating dinner - no judging), was a couple of bites of squash.  And that I just tried to swallow directly, avoiding ALL contact w/my ivories!

Sunday comes and I am Miserable.  (Yes, Miserable w/a Capital "M"!)  Friday evening and all day Saturday we had a Choir Seminar at church, and the director was going to lead us on Sunday morning and I really wanted to participate.  Do you know how HOT spotlights feel when all of a sudden you get a sudden tooth pain that makes you want to passout.  Yep - that was lots of fun.  Ohhh, and part of the seminar was to remember to S.M.I.L.E. to encourage the congregation.  (The irony)  All day it just felt like someone had a remote control to this pain and whenever they wanted to, they just flipped the switch and watched as I would go from laughing and conversing to trying to get away from mankind and find a dark hole to go and die!  Added w/the pain the fact I didn't know what was the cause, and it kept coming at willy-nilly times, was making me Lose.My.Mind!!!  (ps - made it through choir, and church -- there were moments I wasn't sure.)

Got home Sunday afternoon - and the pain kept coming and going and Growing, and I was unable to maintain a calm spirit.  I was crying and moaning at times when the pain was strong and lasting an incredibly long time.  Partly due to exhaustion and frustratioin I'm sure - but mostly b/c of the intensity.  I couldn't sit down to dinner w/everyone b/c I was having a spell - and I was laying on the couch crying w/a pillow over my face.   It passed and I was able to calm down.  And then I sat up - and just as quickly as it went away it came back.  And just as quickly as the tears had stopped they started pouring out of my eyes again.  I went to the dining room and barely able to talk somehow relayed that I needed to go to Urgent Care for some pain killers b/c I just couldn't take the pain any longer.

For the first part of the car ride - Ziltcho pain.  Then the buidling that I knew held the key to my relief (that little piece of paper w/2 miraculous letters "Rx")  was in sight and all of a sudden I was crippled over in pain again, just a complete wreck.  I've never run a marathon, but I hit a wall.  My legs were so worbly by the time the car parked I didn't know if I'd have the strength to get myself out of the car and walk through those doors.  I was so close, but in that moment it still felt so far away.  Fatigue and pain were my worse enemies.  Praise the Lord I made it to the check-in counter, and I only cried a little when the aide checked me in.

As we were waiting, the Fire Dept. showed up and wheeled a patient out on a stretcher.  The individual was older and looked at us and said, "Trade places w/ya."  Talk about heart breaking.  What would you say to that?  All I could muster was a sympathetic look and half a smile.  Still wonder if they're ok.  Still find myself praying for them.  Scolded myself a little for being a pansy.  Most likely I was not going to be dealing w/something life-threatening.  Started praying God would keep everything in the right perspective for me.

Nurse comes and calls my name.  *Rx is getting closer and closer*  Takes my blood pressure - Shocking - it's high ... umm yes, that happens when I can't calm myself down b/c I'm in intense pain.  She takes it again later and it was good - but she recorded the high one.  :(    I explain what's been happening - how I've even tried a neti pot in case it was sinus related - no relief.  Dr. comes in and after introducing himself asks why I'm smiling, to which I responded that I wasn't currently in pain, but that I'm sure That would change momentarily.  Question 2 was why haven't I seen a dentist yet?  Well, sir, there was a lot of confusion w/my symptons.  I couldn't put my finger on what was going on, and until this weekend the pain had only been sporadic, at best.  My day as a whole would be normal w/little bouts of pain; since late Friday evening my days were filled w/agonizing pain w/bouts of relief.  He grabbed a tongue depresser (which I realized later probably cost me $23.17!), and started pressing on my top right molars.  He didn't like how the one looked b/c there was a whole lot of metal going on.  Yep - that's what happens when you're a kid and a dentist tries to save your tooth from being a root canal.  Man he took that tongue depressor and practically lifted me off the examing table by my head!  Any takers on my pain level??    Zero!  ??  See!  What in the world!  If there was something wrong .. shouldn't that be KILLING me!!  The Dr. said he was on the fence about me.  He didn't see signs of a sinus infection, my throat was red (I'm assuming from my neti pot experience), but no other signs.  He didn't want to rule it out, so he put me on Amoxicillin and said that would clear up an infection if I had one, and if I didn't it would bring down any internal swelling I had.  Win/win.  I had to see a dentist That week, and he also prescribed Tylenol w/Codeine b/c he didn't want me to continue to be in pain (I'm glad we agreed about that!)

After beginning to take the pain killers, I realized how much I had been suffering.  How I made it to late Sunday afternoon was by the grace of God!  Arlene looked up dentists that are good w/nervous patients (b/c that's what I would be to say the least), and since I was back to work Monday morning (thankfully there were no random drug tests - ha!) Arlene made an appt for me that afternoon.  My appt was right when I should be taking another pain pill, but I forgo it just in case the dentist needs me to be a little more in tune to what I'm feeling (Mental note NEVER making That mistake again!).  Introductions are done, and in the chair I go - every last shaking bone, and frayed nerve!  X-rays are done, and then 3 individual tests are executed:  Poking, Tapping, Frozen Cotton Ball!  Test 1) - Tell me when this hurts ..... no pain, no pain, no pain, no p --   uhhhh ok - woaw!  I felt a little something there.    Test 2) Again - tell me when this hurts.  little tap - no; tap, tap - no; Tap Tap TA --- uhh uhh uhh OW!!   Yeah - that last one hurt!   Ok  - Last One.    Test 3)  You know the drill.  I'm just gonna keep this cotton ball by your tooth and you tell me when you feel something.  ....  dooo -dooo - daa-de-daaa  ....   (all of a sudden) -  Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!  Oh My Word!!  Sitting forward in the chair ALL the pain I had been covering up w/drugs for 24 hours has come RUSHING in and there's no going back.  In that moment I was regretting the fact my lil' white pills where at home, and I was now behind in my dosages.

The verdict:  Root Canal.  My tooth w/all the metal in it had a dead root and it needed to be removed.  An appt was made for Thurs. afternoon (9/11 no less) and I was sent on my way.  On the side (for free), fast forward to the next day when I'm driving my newly repaired car home from work, and all of a sudden stepping on the gas pedal produces NO exceleration.  Pull over to the side of the road where Nathan and the family come to my aide.  My fuel lines, which had been 'repaired', have gas pouring out, leaving a trail like I'm laying down a fuse line to ignite my car!  Had to have Goldie towed to the repair shop, all while still trying to take in I was about to have to put down some major G's on my mouth!  Overwhelmed doesn't even Begin to describe my state of mind.  Went to bed early - just wanting to escape life - woke up at 4:30 in pain b/c the drugs had worn off.  Took more, and then called the Dentist before leaving for work and left a message that I needed another Rx b/c the Urgent Care doctor did not give me a large prescription and there were no refills.  He was not dumb - he wanted me to see the dentist.  At the rate I needed to take the pills w/out any lapse time though I would be out before my procedure.  Got the extra pills And a sedative for the day of.  When I had that Rx filled I was VERY excited, b/c the instruction stated I was to take one before going to bed!  Whoo-Hoooooo  Best.Sleep.Ever!!!!  And then ... then the Big Day!

~    'Twas the night before my Root Canal    ~

Nervously followed the tech back to "the Room" where I put on my super comfy fuzzy socks -- b/c the doctor said I could bring a pillow, blanket, teddy bear - whatever I wanted to help me feel more comfortable.  My feet are always cold at the dentist if I wear sandals (and the sandals always want to fall off), and secure shoes just aren't comfy.  I LOVED having my fuzzy socks (Thanks to my niece Savannah - she picked them out for a C-mas gift!)

After I'm numbed up the Dr. says he can't do anything about the sound, or pressure, or vibrating but I shouldn't feel any Sharp Pain.  *Deep Breathe*   "ohhkhay"  (I slur out)   I tuck this little nugget of info into my brain - as flashbacks from my widom teeth removal come flooding back!  It begins - not pleasant, but getting done.  I have in my headphones and my eyes are tightly clenched behind the sunglasses they gave me ... I do NOT want to see any of the tools they are passing back and forth ... I don't want to see Anything!!

Quite a ways in it happens.  *ZZZZzzzAAAAaPP*  A pain so sharp it was like losing at 'Operation', but the Home Alone 2 voltage version!  Afraid to make any sudden movements because I don't want him to 'slip' w/whatever he's doing and cut my lip or something.  But involuntarily I Screech .. LOUDLY .. jerk up and down rapidly like I had just had a cardiac defibrillator used on me, and lift up my right arm with my index finger pointed up.  My tooth has a square shield covering my mouth hole attached by a rubberband.   Somehow I garble out - what is suppose to sound like "Sharp Pain".  I have no clue how the dentist or the tech are able to translate Anything I jarble.  The dentist in a shocked tone says: "You felt that?!"  YHeeeehhh -  Ih ehh u harh haih   *wimper*   deep breathes/panting    A few moments later - I could just rewrite that last sentence - only difference I Scaaaareamed Much louder  and started crying a little.  Again, the doctor repeats shocked, "You felt that?!!?!!"  A little more panicked I give my same reply (Translation:  "Yes - I felt a sharp pain")  It wouldn't happen, and then it would - each time my body's natural reaction was getting more uncontrollable.  I was actually starting to freak out that I wouldn't be able to lay there much longer, b/c I just wanted to roll from side to side and hide my open mouth.  Tears were just pouring down my temples into my ears, my whole body was shaking, I was trying to grab onto anything, practically sitting on my hands b/c I didn't want them to involuntarily shoot up and cause the doctor to mess up.  I knew we were at a point where we had come 'too far.'  Whatever he was doing, he couldn't just stop.  I didn't want to be one of "those" patients that was hysterical for no reason - but I think it's natural for you to express yourself when you feel your mouth has been hooked up to a live outlet, and you keep getting shocked out of your socks.  (Quite literally b/c my one fuzzy sock was almost completely off b/c I was pushing my feet together, one on top of the other each time I was 'electrocuted'!!)

Finally it stopped.  He stopped.  I was laying there trying to calm down.  My heart was beating so fast I know I was near a heart attack.  My whole being was so tense, w/each stuttered breath I would shake harder and harder.  The doctor removed his mask and was apologizing and patting my shoulder.  He said he had never had anyone not take to the anesthesia.  (While I'm still whimpering and trying to get composed I'm literally thinking:  Leave it to Me!!)  I can't relay anything even though he took the sheild done b/c it is Impossible to close my mouth w/whatever he's got on my tooth - it feels 3xs larger than normal.  He continues to tell me he got the filling out, he removed the root, he finished cleaning one nerve and he was on the 2nd one - the last one - and he has tried putting the anesthesia directly on it, and the nerve is just not taking it.  That would explain all the pain.  After he learned I could still feel it, he was touching it directly over and over and over w/the numbing agent but my nerve was rejecting it.  Now that I have some knowledge I feel a little better, although it was not encouraging news at all - b/c now I'm thinking - what do we do now.  He continues to say, we can do one of two things.  He doesn't want me to go through anymore pain.  We can stop right now, he can put in a temporary filling and I can come back and he can try again. Or he can try a different numbing agent and drill a different side of a my tooth until the nerve has a chance to take to this other material.  (I don't remember the logistics b/c I just wanted someone to hit me w/a mallet at this point to put me out of my misery!)  I stutter out, in between irregular breathes, tears still rollin' down, "wuhh woo yhu o??"  In my head I'm thinking ... I hope it's Plan #2, and I hope it works, b/c I physically cannot take anymore of the pain being inflicted on me, and if we go w/Plan#1 I will have to be knocked on conscious and carried to the car to even get here b/c I cannot see me coming back short of a complete and utter breakdown!  He paused, and almost hesitantly put his mask back up - and I don't remember if there was another round of pain or not.  Then there were some loud sounds.  And then randomly he says - Can you feel that?  And calm as a cucummber I said "yohe"  (Nope)  Shortly after that he asks again.  "Yohe Ih hihe" (Nope, I'm Fine)  Night and Day difference.  Finally able to relax.  Ahhhh

Although relaxed now - several minutes later all of a sudden, I'm just done.  I'm tired of my mouth being open, I want all the noises to stop, I don't feel right.  I just want to roll over on my side, put a pillow over my head and make it dark.  And then it hits me.  I feel Really warm - from my cheeks to my toes.  I start flailing my hands back and forth "Ihe oh eeh oohh"  (I don't feel good)   I CANNOT believe this is happening to me.  I joke about losing it, and flipping out, and having breakdowns - but I am Seriously having one.  NO joke this time.  I feel like I want to puke.  What is going on?!  I didn't think my 'fear' of the dentist was This strong!  The doctor says quickly - do you need to sit up?   Uhh huh uhhh huh uhhh huh  - I just keep repeating that.  And then I realize ... I Am About To Be Sick!!  This chair motorizing to an upright position at .00001 milliseconds per hour is Not going to cut it.  "Ih u oih oo ee ihhh -- ih a oo uuuuuuu"   (I am going to be sick - I have to puke) To which the doctor starts saying - 'Do you need the sink?  Get her to the sink.'  Trays and tools starts clanking as things are quickly being rearranged to clear a path to the sink.  I made it - and the entire time I was reliving my pbj I was thinking - I canNOT believe I am vomitting!!   If I were the tech - I would have been like - see ya doc - I do NOT get paid enough for this!  I will Never forget that moment as long as I live!  I've been humbled many times .... that tops them ALL!  I tried 'rinsing' which consisted of my bobbing my head back and forth (which is great fun when you're so lightheaded you can barely stand) b/c I can't close my mouth b/c of my tooth feeling 3xs larger than it's normal size.  As I hobbled back to the chair the doctor asked if I had taken my pain med And my sedative.  (I'm not even going to type what I sounded like ... just know, playing it out in charades probably would have been easier!)  I had taken a pain pill 3 hrs before coming and the sedative right before I left.  He looked like - Huh - well that shouldn't have caused it then.  But then I added, I was so tense, and upset, and worked up from the sharp pain - I could have easily have puked solely from that w/out any meds.  Even through all of this I felt the need to 'lighten the moment', so before laying back down I say - sure am glad I went w/a pbj for lunch and not mexican.  They both laughed - even if it was a courtesy laugh (which I don't believe it was) - it made me feel better.  After that it was only a few more minutes and everything was done.

Although it was a complete disaster of an experience I'm not upset - and I'm only a little nervous about going back to have the crown put on.  I know why I feel this way.  When it was all said and done this doctor had apologized so much for the pain I had endured.  He said he had really wanted me to have a good experience b/c he knew I was nervous.  Most of the time ppl hear horror stories and then they have a root canal and they're like - woaw - that wasn't bad at all!  He restated how he's not had a patient that did not take to the novocaine - even when he put it Directly on the nerve!  I told him I had to be numbed-up 4 times when my wisdom teeth were removed.  - Lucky Me -  He just kept apologizing for all the pain he had put me through.  At first I said - well, you caused me a lot of pain - I got sick in your sink - I think we're even.  But he brought it back around like - no, I'm not going to joke this one off.  So then I got serious and said, If he would have said - I'm almost done, just hang in there, it'll only hurt for a little more, I would not come back.  The fact that he tried putting the novocaine directly on the nerve and then stopped when that still was not taking and gave me an option as to what I wanted to do - That was huge to me.  He also listened to me at the end when I said the temporary felt rough on my tongue.  He said that was probably some flash - and he put his mask back on and buffed it out.  It's a temporary - he could have easily have said - it'll be fine til you come back next week.

Finally shuffled out to the waiting room.  Found out nothing was sacred.  Arlene heard me screeching, and crying, and screaming, and "gagging".  If there was anyone else in the waiting room, I'm sure I scared them off.

Only took one pain pill before bed b/c I wasn't sure what to expect - but come morning, I was fine.  A little tender/soar - but overall - Healed!!  Now I'm drug free and thanking God for dentists!!  :)