News

Where to begin? Do you ever have news that you want to share, but there's so much info you just don't know where to start? Welcome to the start of this long entry.

Last year, a girl (Jenny) started attending our church. She was attending a college in the area, and while she was here she came to our church. At the end of the year, she transferred, and I heard from her occassionally. This spring she stopped in and we were able to chat for a short time. She asked if I was going to Camp Chetek and I said I usually don't. Come to find out, she was planning on going as a counselor, but had never gone before, and she thought it would be nice if we were both there. After thinking about it, I said I would go.

Fast forwarding to 3 weeks ago, we were in the middle of our tent revival meetings, which I had to work through for the majority. One night, I got home from work and shortly after my parents got in from the special services. My mom handed me a piece of paper and told me Pastor Morrow had contacted Pastor Jones and asked him to give me his number and if I were interested to call him about possibly coming up to help in their Christian school. :O

I took the number and immediately had a quadzillion thoughts running through my mind. (Don't worry -- I won't type them "all" out!) ;P ha ha

The weeks/months previous to this I had really been looking for a change. I was not happy working 2 part time jobs, I wanted to move on from that. I wasn't particularly happy still being at home -- yet fear of the unknown - being away from home - kept me from actually moving into an apartment to see if I really could make it on my own. Another reason I didn't want to leave home is b/c for as little as I saw my family, I always knew "someone" was there. That was a staple.

Little things kept happening that were opening my eyes to things in my life. Here, Home, TCBC, these things are my comfort zones. This is my terrain. It's harder for me to grow and mature (in the Lord especially) when I'm in my comfort zone b/c I feel untouchable almost. When I was in school, W.V., and even over in Japan for 2 1/2 weeks -- now those things were NOT my comfort zones. I was depending on God in a VERY REAL way. And those, are some of the most memorable times in my life.

Woaw! Jumpin' ahead of myself here. ... ok, where was I ??

So I had Pastor Morrow's number, and although I was wanting change -- I wasn't asking the Lord to send me up to the boonies to trust Him! I called Pastor Morrow and we had a very good discussion on the phone. He said he was just encouraged that I would pray about this and call him. I told him the least I could do was call him! He said they had interviewed several people, but no one agreed to come up and work in the church/school. The church had been praying for God to be preparing the heart of the person who was suppose to come. :O Those words went ringing through ears and around my brain a few times. I knew the Lord had been working on me in the last few weeks. My everyday life - routine - everything had just become so questionable. What was it all worth?? What was I working so hard for? I was asking God for something more b/c I was feeling so unsettled. I was seeking change. (But I didn't know where to look. -- Funny how "it" found me!) I looked at the distance between the camp and where Pastor Morrow is, it was about an hour away, on the way home. I told Pastor Morrow that I was going up to Camp Chetek the following week, and I would swing over that weekend, talk to him face-to-face, and take a look around. I see me going to camp as a "sign" from God also. I NEVER go to camp!!!! Going to church camp as a kid was enough. If Jenny had not stopped in that one Sunday and mentioned it, I know I would never have even considered it!

Of course, after the phone conversation - that's when the devil snuck in. Jessica, you canNOT move out to the middle of nowhere for just a couple of kids. I can't leave Savannah. We're so close, I don't want her to think I don't love her anymore. I don't want to lose that bond that has been such a part of our relationship. (*sniff*)

When I arrived at Jonn and Angela they took me up to the church for a tour. The whole time they were showing me around I was thinking - this is nice, but not for me. I kept thinking it was a mistake even to go up b/c I thought - how am I suppose to tell them I don't have peace about this. I did take it all in " just in case. "

I wasn't able to sit down with them and talk over my "list" until Sunday night! I was afraid they were going to think I really didn't want to talk over the questions I still had. Before we had this discussion I told myself - if he can't give me answers - solid answers - to my questions then I am definitely not going. I did not have peace about leaving my job(s), moving to a strange place, only to have someone say: "That's a good question Jessica, and that's something you'll just have to trust the Lord for." So I guess you could say, that was my fleece I laid out. ;)

The entire conversation went very well (I think). Jonn addressed everything I mentioned - Angela added a few things and it was just easy in general to sit across from them and talk. I didn't feel uncomfortable and stressed. During those few minutes is when I first started to put down my "THIS IS NOT FOR ME" barrier I had built up for protection - from jumping into something prematurely for whatever reason(s).

I didn't let myself cry until I left and I was driving home. I think that was my "breaking" moment. I realized what I had to tell my family when I got home.

I realized . . . I no longer was going to see Savannah 2 - 3 times a week.