No Help for You!

Right now the scene from Seinfield is running through my head, with the soup nazi yelling out, "NO SOUP FOR YOU!"

Today I was having struggles, yet again, with a very popular anti-virus program. You download your update from online, and then wa-lah! Everything is suppose to run smoothly! Of course that didn't happen, so after exhausting my online search for assistance, I finally set out to find a tech support number! HA HA HA HA What a joke! I tried every "Help" avenue on this system's site first, with absolutely NO phone number, and then I thought, well, I'll call information. It's a long shot, but I was sooooo desperate. I call information and it's all voice activated. The first thing I hear is a robot asking me what city and state. (So rude, didn't even say, Hello!) So I was quiet. I didn't know what city or state. If I knew that, I'd drive to their corporation and ask why we have to spend so much money for their product, and then can't even get a real person to help when needed!

This robot came on and asked me THREE times, and I finally said, I'm not sure. The robot responds, Ok, Monster, TX Please hold while I connect you with an operator. No-no-no wait-wait-wait! Who do I get but an operator from Monster, TX! What in the world?!?! I think "I'm not"sounds more like Minot, so out of anywhere in the U.S. I would have expected to be transferred to Minot, N.D.

So I tell this operator I'm inquiring about a tech support number for this anti-virus company and she finds a 1-800 number for me! Woo-Hoo for Monster, TX!! :D Now I am armed with a tech support number and ready to let someone talk me through step-by-step how to get my program running correctly. I dial the number and I get another robot. This one tells me the number has been disconnected and no further information can be given! :( How ridiculous hey!

I go back to the website to see if maybe possibly I missed something. I did advanced searches, and after about 30 minutes I find a number for tech support! :D :D :) (Please don't think I'm a moron, there wasn't a "Contact" button or anything like that!) I got so excited! Finally, I can get a number that's still in service! I click on the link, and it says to dial this number if you live outside of the U.S. and then it gives like 15 other 1-800 numbers for those in the Ukraine, Uruguay, United Kingdom, and yadda yadda yadda but nothing, NOTHING for the U.S. I couldn't take it anymore!! AHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I'm going insane!! If I forgot to tell you, this is at the office.....I'm not at home going insane, no that would be much too easy. No, I'm out in public, at my place of employment! So I finally told the other lady I work with. NO HELP FOR YOU!! That's it! You live in the U.S. sorry! You're an American, nope, you can't have a tech supporter! Sorry, we only help other countries. What's that, you're an American, oh, we're not allowed to service you. What?! Isn't my money any good?! Didn't I purchase this product just like those in the Ukraine, and every else?!

My one roommate in college was really, REALLY good at imitating people, and talking all day with a certain accent. If I would have had her skills I would have called up one of those numbers and "accented" my way into getting assistance from somebody!

We eventually asked the one guy who acts as the IT around here. Hated to ask him b/c he's so busy with other work, but I was desperate. He had it fixed in no time. My friend and I had a good time going back and forth with the "NO HELP FOR YOU" line before it was all said and done though! :)